What is abuse?
Domestic abuse is when one person hurts, scares or bullies another person who is or was their partner. Domestic abuse can happen between people who are boyfriend and girlfriend or who are married. It can happen when people live together or in different houses. Usually it is the man who hurts the woman.
Domestic abuse happens in young peoples and grown ups relationships, where there are children they see and hear what is happening and it affects them. Children can be hurt, scared or bullied as part of domestic abuse.
Is abuse happening in my home?
Take our quiz to see if there is abuse happening in your home.
The adults at home have arguments and fights
I don’t feel safe and supported at home
One adult in my family hurts another
I trust the adults in my home not to hurt me
My family do not treat each other with respect
Home is a place where I often feel scared
Adults in the home call me names and put me down
Adults in my home call each other names which upsets me
One adult makes the other feel bad
One adult controls the home, what we do and who we speak to
Based on your answers, there may be abuse happening at home.
Based on your answers, there does not appear to be abuse happening at home.
Is it happening to me?
Domestic abuse can happen to anyone of any age including young women and teenagers. Abuse in teenage relationships is the same as in older relationships – it’s about power and control. A relationship can be abusive whether you have known the person for 2 weeks or 2 years, whether you live together or just see each other now and again.
Every relationship is different and at times there will be rough
patches with arguments and fall outs. Your relationship is abusive if there is
a pattern of behaviour that means your partner/boyfriend/girlfriend gets their
way all the time.
Abuse in a relationship isn’t always physical, it can be emotional and sexual too. If your relationship leaves you feeling scared, fearful or controlled then it’s possible its abusive.
If you are just starting to have relationships it can be hard to know what is ok and what isn’t. Your partner may tell you that they are doing what they do because they love you and care for you and they expect you to behave in certain ways to show that you love and care for them.
Their behaviour can leave you feeling confused as it doesn’t match what they are saying and it can be difficult to say what is making you feel uneasy about what they are doing as they are telling you it’s because they care for you.
Remember, love is never an excuse for:
Stopping you doing the things you want to do
Not letting you have time to be on your own or with your friends
Calling you names
Making you feel bad about yourself
Wanting to know where you are all the time and what you are doing
Turning up places where you are
Pressurising or forcing you to do things you aren’t comfortable with
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