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Domestic abuse is when one person hurts, scares or bullies another person who is or was their partner. Domestic abuse can happen between people who are boyfriend and girlfriend or who are married. It can happen when people live together or in different houses. Usually it is the man who hurts the woman.

Domestic abuse happens in young peoples and grown ups relationships, where there are children they see and hear what is happening and it affects them. Children can be hurt, scared or bullied as part of domestic abuse.

 

Is abuse happening in my home?

Take our quiz to see if there is abuse happening in your home.

The adults at home have arguments and fights

Always
Sometimes
Never

I don’t feel safe and supported at home

Always
Sometimes
Never

One adult in my family hurts another

Always
Sometimes
Never

I trust the adults in my home not to hurt me

Always
Sometimes
Never

My family do not treat each other with respect

Always
Sometimes
Never

Home is a place where I often feel scared

Always
Sometimes
Never

Adults in the home call me names and put me down

Always
Sometimes
Never

Adults in my home call each other names which upsets me

Always
Sometimes
Never

One adult makes the other feel bad

Always
Sometimes
Never

One adult controls the home, what we do and who we speak to

Always
Sometimes
Never

Based on your answers, there may be abuse happening at home.

Based on your answers, there does not appear to be abuse happening at home.

Is it happening to me?

Domestic abuse can happen to anyone of any age including young women and teenagers. Abuse in teenage relationships is the same as in older relationships – it’s about power and control. A relationship can be abusive whether you have known the person for 2 weeks or 2 years, whether you live together or just see each other now and again.

Every relationship is different and at times there will be rough patches with arguments and fall outs. Your relationship is abusive if there is a pattern of behaviour that means your partner/boyfriend/girlfriend gets their way all the time.

Abuse in a relationship isn’t always physical, it can be emotional and sexual too. If your relationship leaves you feeling scared, fearful or controlled then it’s possible its abusive.

If you are just starting to have relationships it can be hard to know what is ok and what isn’t. Your partner may tell you that they are doing what they do because they love you and care for you and they expect you to behave in certain ways to show that you love and care for them.

Their behaviour can leave you feeling confused as it doesn’t match what they are saying and it can be difficult to say what is making you feel uneasy about what they are doing as they are telling you it’s because they care for you.

Remember, love is never an excuse for:

Eyeball

Jealousy

Hand and No sign

Stopping you doing the things you want to do

Girl with man's shadow

Not letting you have time to be on your own or with your friends

Swear-word bubble

Calling you names

Embarrassed woman

Making you feel bad about yourself

Woman with locator icon above her

Wanting to know where you are all the time and what you are doing

Man at door

Turning up places where you are

Shadow behind scared girl

Pressurising or forcing you to do things you aren’t comfortable with

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